What you get when you play a Country Song Backwards

So I like Country Music just as much as the next person but I have a few concerns, or opinions I guess, I'd like to discuss about the quality of writing that goes into country music. So to answer my question What do you get when you play a country song backwards
You get your house back You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jackson back You get your truck back
You get your hair back You get your first and second jobs back
Your front porch swing Going ding ling ling ling
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm with a barn and a boat and the Harley
That old black cat named Charlie You get your mind back
And your nerves back Your achey breaky heart back You get your pride back You get your life back
You get your first real love back ohh big screen tv, dvd and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn and the rake and the mower
You go back when life was slower It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards
Now I thought oh this song is kind of silly and catchy and i guess entertaining. Then, i realized how unbelievably true these words are. Leave it to Mr Bucky Covington,yes his name is Bucky, to bring you the epitome of heart tugging country music.

I walked through the door and sat down at the bar
Had a shot and a beer lit up a cigar it ran through my head,
Every word that old man said
I had a woman that loved me with all of her heart
But my pride and my temper made it all fall apart
I was to headstrong to admit when I was wrong
It's been 6 months since she moved out
Guess my pride aint helping me
I want my life back, I want that house that I called home,
I want to hear her voice and see her face every day when I get off
I want what I had when I laid down in the arms of the woman that believed in me
And that man I used to be, I want my life back.

This brings me to my next point. If you read the lyrics or even the titles to a majority of country songs, they are just kind of dumb. Most Country Lyrics are supposed to be poetic. For example I love Shania Twain. I'm a huge huge fan but some of the words she puts together baffle me.

"Must be Monday, What a dumb day, Can't drag my but out of bed." -very eloquent and refined.
My next example. My favorite example. I can't even stand to listen to this song. Its starts out fine I guess You can choose the channel
when we're watchin' the T.V. Oh, babe--it's okay
And you can pick the flavor when we're orderin' ice cream
I don't mind--yeah, that's fine I'd do--hoo--hoo--
anything for you--hoo--hoo
~Then it starts to go down hill.
Ah, it's all right if you sleep with your socks on--oh, babe! It's okay!
And you can hurt my head with your favorite rock song
I don't mind--yeah, that's fine

For you--hoo--hoo--there's
nothin' that I wouldn't do--hoo--hoo
You can put a hole in my shoe

You can put a hole in my shoe? what does that even mean. Is it some sort of wierd Canadian phrase or was shoe the only thing that rhymed with do.

Another song of Bucky Convingtons
Another song of Mr Bucky Covingtons
We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are

Here's another one of my personal favorites Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Like Donkey Kong
And whoo-wee
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma
There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how's she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk

I never thought i'd see Donkey Kong and Slap your grandma so close to being in the same sentence. These words are truly beautiful and articulate don't you think.

Then just the list of bizarre titles Goes on.
She thinks my tractor's sexy
Waiting on Two Pink Lines
I'm going to hire a Wino to decorate our house.
I’ve Missed You, But My Aim’s Improvin’
I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like You’re Still Here
She Took My Ring but Gave Me the Finger
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart


Here's another point I don't get. Country Music seems to thrive on Wordplay and thinks that juxtoposition of word placement makes a phrase clever like:
Why Can't We Just Get A Long. . Long. . Neck (ha ha get it). Or
See you think he's saying along but he's saying. . well you get it
Or You're easy on the eyes but hard on the heart OR
Its a business doing pleasure with you.

One things that bugs me is that a ton of Country Artists are doing covers of classic songs.
Jack Ingram redid Hinders Lips of An Angel
Gary Allen redid Vertical Horizon's Best I EVER Had
Blake Shelton also redid a classic Brian McKnights One, your like a dream come true.

Now I'm not trying to be rude but Country Music is a very very accepting genre of the music industry.
Many of American Ido finalists have turned to Country music and have actually done quite well. I love Carrie Underwood. Kellie Pickler is okay. Josh Gracin has done decently. And then there is Bucky Covington and I have no idea how he landed a recording contract to be honest. Country Music seems to be home to those artists who have struggled in other Genres.
Jessica Simpson Exhibit One-She did the whole pop scene. Who could forget her hits I think I'm in love and Irresistable. She decided to record a country album.
Now, Draius Rucker main singer of Hootie and the Blowfish has no made a comeback as a solo country artist.
Now I hope nobody is offended. I love most country music. I think Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood and Garth Brooks are Wonderful. I'm a Rascal Flatts fan and a Brad Paisley Fan. I really think we should consider and filter the country music we listen too. That is all.

Buy Me Some Peanuts and Crackerjack

MY ADVENTURE IN DENVER TO SEE MY SISTER AND HER 2 LITTLE MONKEY MEN


So my vacation started out as another episode in life of Hurricane Hillary. I met my brother in law at his house in South Jordan so we could car pool to the airport. Well I pulled my car into their garage for safe keeping while we were gone for the week. I decided to leave my keys in my car since it was in the garage and I wouldn't have to worry about taking my keys through the airport or risk losing them while i was gone. Well i got my carry on bag out of my car and into Tyler's when i realized my boarding pass was still in my car so i went back into the garage and surprise my car was locked with my keys and boarding pass inside. Tyler tried to break in for 20 minutes with a hanger but it did not work. So we headed to the airport and luckily i was able to print a new boarding pass.

So our flight was delayed an hour. YOu always meet interesting people at the aiport. Like this guy that was dressed like a woman in pink shorts and a think v-neck white t-shirt. WE met this guy on the plan who, when he found out tyler was married and from utah, asked if he only had one wife.


Day1
 We took all of the kids to the park. Tristan and Isabel walked around hand in hand like best friends until they actually started playing on the playground and then went into WWF smackdown over some dinky toy. We then went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Jack was struggling and we had 6 kids with us that one group sitting next to us moved and everyone else the hostess tried to seat by us refused. Ha ha i thought it was genius. Then Lindsay and her kids and I walked around the mall and then looked for the Denver temple for over an hour. We stalked someone in the garage to ask them directions, and we yelled at at least 3 people while we were stopped at red lights for more directions. The next day we discovered that we had practically driven past it and had driven in a big old circle around it.


DAY 2
The Mitchells and I went to the Museum of Natural History and Science. There were dislplays of animals from North America, Australia, Water Mammals. We also saw a Native American exhibit about how early Indians lived. We saw samples of their clothes, cradle boards, tents, etc. It was very interesting. Then we went across the street to a park so the Mitchells could have batting practice with Jake.



Day 3
We headed Town Town (what Tristan calls Down Town) and went to the 16th street Mall, which is a mile long strip mall. Quite Impressive. I was forced to go into Coyote Ugly Saloon and buy a freaking awesome t-shirt. Then we rode the bus to look at the Botanical Gardens. We went through the tropical conservatory, the Japanese style garden, the Lilac Garden and the Rose Garden. It was quite beautiful but the kids started going crazy. Jack insisted on pushing his stroller along the trail. AS we got back to town the monsoon started and we were afraid the baseball game would be rained out. The game was played. We headed to Coors Field where everything is very expensive. I bought a gatorade and a pretzel and it cost me 9 dollars. People were paying 6 dollars for a bottle or glass of beer. Insane!!!!!! The Rockies slaughtered the Diamondbacks 5-0. There was an amazing fireworks show afterwards. Great music and the finale set to Ode to Joy was so loud you could barely make out the music. This was Tristan's first fireworks show and he was clapping and laughing. He's adorable.
Saturday we headed headed out at 6 in the morning, stopped for food, watched movies, and played the license plate game.
It was a fun filled week and I'm so glad I went.

Baby Raccoons and Other Animal Tales from Central Bank

Alright so today at work we found 4 baby racoons nestled all snug in our stairwell with no mama. They were all one huddled pile/mass so I'm pretty sure they were terrified. We called animal control and they never came. They referred someone at the bank to the police department so nothing got done. We don't know how long they were in the stair well so we fed them some dog treats and they started to eat them. Then the little fuzzy things moved up to the parking lot under some bushes. Nate and Cameron went out to inspect and some lady and her daughter had gotten out of their mini van and were watching the raccoons. She and her daughter had towels and were trying to catch and gather the little dears up. So Nate and Cameron came in and got boxes and went to help with the hunt. They caught the first 3 pretty easily with the towels. Granted the use of a golf club was required. Not to hit them with, just to herd or nudge in the right direction. The last little guy put up quite a fight. It was trying to scratch and bite cameron. but cameron finally pinned up and got him in the box and in the back of the van. So If Cameron comes down with rabies, we'll know why. So good so far though The Little girl sat in the back of the van with the box of raccoons. Cameron and I were talking we so could imagine something off of Tommy Boy happening. You know that part with the dead deer coming back to consciousness in the back seat and ruining the car. Ha Ha.
This incident got me thinking of last year while the bank had construction going on for the new addition and a bird got loose inside. It zoomed across the whole building like an airplane. The sad thing is it kept running into windows head first trying to get back outside. Not just once, but repeatedly. OH good times. =-)

Palm Reading and continuing adventure of Hurricane Hillary

So more adventures of my wonderful car, which I love. So the battery in my car has been replaced within the past year but is starting to freak out. I think there's a short in it. The battery light came on when I was driving home from my sister's house and I was afraid my car was going to stop right in the middle of the free way. So my car went psycho as I got halfway to church on Sunday. All of the light and symbols on the dash kept flickering and blinking, the battery light came on, and my gas gauge kept going up and down and oscillating. It was like my car was possessed. Luckily my car made it to church without stopping on me. Then as I went to get in my car to drive home my car was dead. It wouldn't start. So my friend had to drive me home and then my dad came over with me when he got back from my sister's house and jumped my car. After that its acted like a peach and I haven't had problems starting it. It swear its got major mood swings.
So I was helping one of the regular customer's at the bank and while i was running her deposits, she took my hands and started examining them. I was confused at first and then i realized she was reading my palms or something like that. She asked if I was a musician. I told her yes, I play the piano and violin. Then she started telling me I needed to go get a check up and have my heart checked. I told her that i had been to have my heart checked recently and then she starting asking me all sorts of things. She started asking me all sorts of questions about my health and my condition. This really surprised me because she barely likes anybody but Kelly, our head teller, or let's anybody help her but kelly. She then had me sort of make a fist and she told me that i was going to have 3 children. It was a bit spooky but interesting at the same time.

Motorcycles and Margaritas

So Friday the 22nd. the most embarrasing thing happened. One of our customers Brandon, who is about 10 years older than I am comes up to my window and starts acting like a doofus. He's like. Hillary. . THat's not your name is it. I was thinking "duh, moron, that's what my name tag says. Then he started asking me if i was afraid of motorcycles. I guess he was trying to be cool and to strike up a conversation. I could tell he wanted to ask me out or take me on a ride. I ran away and hid in the vault til he was gone. He gave mary jo his number to give to me. Apparently he didn't get the hint.
Memorial Day was my birthday and I turned the big 21. The Saturday before that, the gang threw me a birthday party. Holly and Sara and Chelsey, and Luke, and Aubrey and Travis were there. We roasted Hotdogs. Holly made us some margaritas. It was fabulous. They were chilled, refreshing and just what I needed ha ha. Luke made me a birthday cake. Chocolate banana. 2 words Yum-my. We played Scum and it was a blast. I was Queen for a glorious while. I was only scum once thank you very much. Then Monday on my birthday, my family came over for a bbq. My sister made me a plaque that's cream and blue and green (my favorite colors) that says Hurricane Hillary. This was to helpe me keep track of all of my valuables. THen we had apple pie for dessert. It was so wonderful. I've been on a little shopping spree for my birthday. Like a week long shopping extravaganzza. i bought some cute clothes though. I did need the new clothes. Ha Ha

Reach for the stars, or for mediocrity

So for those of you who don't know my biggest pet peeves is lazy people who think they are entitled and that they are better than everybody else. Some examples from. I get really irritated when I see people come through the drive-up at the bank with handicapped stickers in their car who are perfectly healthy and capable of walking around. There is a lady who will remain nameless who is so lazy that she expects us to do money orders for her at the drive-up because its too hard for her to walk inside. Go get some Exercise!!!
I also really get annoyed with people at grocery stores who make their own "cart return" because its too hard to walk the 5 or 10 feet to the real designated cart return.
Another thing that amazes me about people is how screwed up their priorities are. Never mind thousands of dollars spent on cigarettes, or people who don't want to work because they don't mind living in a trailer as long as they have their dish to watch t.v. For example. I had this kind of hick guy come to my window at the bank. He had one tooth. He had a tooth, one tooth, sticking out from his bottom jaw. Yes just like my little niece Bianca. He then proceeds to tell me he just sold his house/estate in Italy. Okay. How does this make sense. He can buy a house in Europe but he can't afford to take himself to the dentist. Maybe after he gets his 2 million from selling the house he can buy himself some dentures.

Anyway. I realized this week that I love playing my violin. I haven't actually hard core practiced since high school but I practiced the Bach Double with a friend yesterday. It hurt my wrist and it started out as a train wreck but we practiced and worked at it. By the end it actually sounded like music. It was a freaking blast! So much fun. I need to start my own private practice.

Thanks for listening to my latest rant gentle reader.

Why I'm called the drastic fantastic

So if anybody was ever wondering why I named my blog the drastic fantastic its kind of a running joke. Trouble and disaster seem to follow me and some think its funny. For example last October or so I was driving down University Parkway in Provo and my tire came off of my car.
So this week I had a really really awful day. It first started on Sunday when I discovered why my new laptop had been acting so crappy. Well it was ambushed and attacked by viruses. NOt just a virus but many as in plural. Just my luck. Then while my computer is taken away to get fixed I leave my phone at work. Just to top off my week I took my car in to get inspected. My car is worn out and the front tire that hadn't popped off of my car was going to in the near future. It kind of makes me scared to get in my car. What if my tire decides to come off while i'm cruising down the freeway.

Anyway a bright spot or few in my week. I saw Star Trek. I knew nothing about it but surprisingly I thought it was really good. My computer is back finally and is running beautifully.